I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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