He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i out mim tonsoeep
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