I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
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Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
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just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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