Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
