I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
