i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
