oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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