I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize