i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just googled if crying burns calories
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize