Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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