I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
