and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
