The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
