we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
