Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
