u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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