i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
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I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
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Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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