At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize