He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Found the puke drawer
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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