the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
