so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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