my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize