I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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