our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
