Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
