I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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