He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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