Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
