belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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