you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize