so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
