I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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