Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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