stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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