I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
