We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
