Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
