don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
