Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
