you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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