We won't sleep together?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
