I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
