You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
