Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
