Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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