i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
