Duck Duck Cougar?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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