If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
