I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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