Don't you send me to vm
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
