He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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