I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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