my sisters under your porch take her home
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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