I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
