ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
