fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
