Kareoke will never be a sober sport
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
