Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Randomize
