I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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