why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
