Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
