I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
