its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
