So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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