oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
