Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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